Read the Stories

• The Fortune-Telling Doll – I found a doll at the beach the other day, and since it looked like one of those really expensive Japanese ball joint doll things my friend suggested I take it home, clean it up, and sell it on eBay. Would you believe me if I said it started making crazy psychic predictions every night? How about if I told you they all come true (as far as I know, I haven’t checked the one about a flasher getting beaten up by a 14-year-old in Austin)?
• Willie Nelson Wants You Back – It was my first ghost tour ever, I’ll grant that maybe I just didn’t have a proper frame of reference for a good ghost tour vs. a bad ghost tour, but I still knew lame when I saw it.
• Welcome Home, part 1 – I’d been playing this situation out in my head from the moment we stepped into the house. The ghost would come at me. I would stand my ground, boldly brandish one of Kenny’s magic bumper stickers, maybe with some kind of battle cry for effect, back the ghost into the nearest room with a door, slam the door, sticker it, and strut off with Kenny to to christen the bare floor of his new house by having victorious housewarming sex on it. That was how it was going to happen. Yep. Can we just say that’s what happened and never speak of it again?
• Welcome Home, part 2 – I looked around, at the hundreds and hundreds of pictures lining the walls. I was starting to get a pretty good idea of what I was going to have to do, and I so did not like these odds. “You have got to be shitting me,” I groaned out loud, and the demon voice busted out laughing.
• Ray in a Pickle – Kenny was practically vibrating in the driver’s seat. I was glad he was excited, really I was. Me, not so much. A thing that could empty a dolphin of blood and guts like that did not sound like a thing I wanted to meet in person.
• Wild Kingdom – If Kenny was wearing that face, it meant he was probably mostly okay but something so colossally absurd as to defy verbal description had happened.
• Fukurou-no-ishi, part 1 – “You’re seriously putting an ad on Craigslist asking if anyone has seen a killer barn owl.”
• Fukurou-no-Ishi, part 2 – I wasn’t sure whether I wanted to fall down, throw up, or shit my pants. Maybe all three. “Mom,” I croaked, “did you just say ‘barn owl?‘”
• The Devil You Know – I am not a violent person, not by a long shot, but I could hear every knuckle I owned begging me to please, please introduce them to Gary Goddamn Fillmore’s face, they were just dying to meet it, preferably in such a way as to shatter those hundred-dollar Oakleys he put on as he went out the door even though it was about ten minutes away from sundown.
• One Hundred Tales – The stories themselves were a mixed bag. Some of them I’d never heard of at all, some were variations on old standards, and some, strangely, appeared to be retellings of myths from completely different cultures. But whatever the monster-of-the-moment appeared to be, it was always some sort of demon and it always had a special weakness the hero would exploit.
• Chickens in the Mist – Hi, Roger? This is Kenny. Jeff can’t come in to work today. He’s been turned to stone. Yeah, it sucks, but I got him a nice pedestal, he looks awesome out on the back porch. Listen, I gotta go, I don’t know what the hell people have been feeding the pigeons around here lately but I gotta go hose him off again.

13 Comments »

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1. Hi,

   O.k, that first story had me LOL and it’s been awhile. This pass week three books and now your story.

   thanks

   Comment by alicisa — December 10, 2008 #

2. Yo man… I had to go through this stuff all in one sitting! God, are they awesome. Okay I’ll give You credit for being the most intimidating author ever. I am like, impassive to most novels, and now? Well,well. Can’t wait to read the next serial.

   Comment by Rewanth — December 24, 2008 #

3. This is the best gay novel i have read so far;and this must be the 6th,im goin crazy waitin fo an update.Worst thing?I dont no yo update schedule!Guess i’ll have 2 check web fic guide or someting.

   Comment by m1chelangelo — March 30, 2009 #

4. Thanks!

   There is no actual update schedule–things are updated when they’re finished, which can take anywhere from a couple of weeks to a couple of months.

   Comment by chaobell — March 30, 2009 #

5. Oh man, I DREAMED about this story after I had been reading it for a couple of hours the other day. Zombie Jesus also worked his way in there surprisingly easily…

   Anyway, I plan on reccing this story, because I REALLY like it. I can’t wait for more! I love the demons and the like, you’re really creative with them. Very original stuff. How much of the stuff you use is based on actual legends, and how much is of your own creation? Either way, it’s amazing work. I saw this around ages ago, probably more than once, and I’m not sure why I didn’t have a look. I decided to give it a shot now because a friend of mine linked me. Oh, maybe I didn’t read because I didn’t realise how interconnected they were! I may have assumed they were all one shots, with different characters and stuff. I like my stories long. Anyway, very good writing, I will be checking back for more.

   Comment by Potatoe — April 15, 2009 #

6. Will we get some kind of announcement when more is posted? I’m missing these boys. *hugs*

   Comment by Dawn — May 24, 2009 #

7. I’ll keep checking back.

   Comment by Dawn — May 24, 2009 #

8. Oh, you! I love these!! Keep up the fabulous work! I’m SO glad I got linked to these babies!! :D

   Comment by Lea — September 12, 2009 #

9. I’m seriously impressed. I just read the first chapter and was captured by the story, can’t wait to read the rest! I found your site because a friend recomended it, and I’ve never been more glad to follow a link before. I would have never found it otherwise. You are an excellent writer, and the story is very well written, at a professional level. Congratulations!!

   Comment by venia — September 12, 2009 #

10. I’m not gonna lie- I miss this story :( but no rush. Hope all is going well on your end.
    I’ll keep coming back, even if there are no more updates, just to revisit the old ones. Haha. ;D

    Comment by Elysia — January 11, 2010 #

11. Thank you so much for writing this – I started last night and devoured all the chapters in a few short sittings. I wish I’d savored it more! Jeff and Kenny’s adventures are so much fun. <3 You're a very engaging writer, and the balance between humor and horror is just perfect. I look forward to reading more from you!

    Comment by Becky — January 13, 2010 #

12. I absolutely love Jeff and Kenny. I was recommended to this site by Azalea J, an author on adultfanfiction.net. I’m so glad she did, because your writing is amazing. I started reading this 12am yesterday, and am currently about to read the last chapter. I know I’ll be checking back everyday to see if there is a new chapter out. I’m not going to demand another chapter or anything, I know real life can take over sometimes. But I am excited to see what comes next.

    Comment by Linaeve — January 20, 2010 #

13. This was really good i started it, and it was slow in the beginning but i just couldn’t put it down!!! Please hurry and update, its just to good to leave unfinished!!

    Comment by Torri — January 23, 2010 #

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